He Needs To Be More Droll

SOME THINGS I MUTTERED TO MYSELF.
Great. Injured cranky vampires.
Of course I haven't twisted anyone's head off!
A very nice girl who happens to be a harbringer of the apocalypse.
The Doctor's married!?!?
There was a guy with long hair and he started being a jerk, so I beat him up.
EXPLANATIONS
1. Well, at this point in the story I was making up in  my head, there was one.
2. A defensive exclamation.
3. Describing Hotaru-chan.
4. Well, he is.
5. The character speaking was referring to King Ashura. I just did this to vindicate myself on some of the recent events in Tsubasa because HE PISSED ME OFF. But he has nothing on Fei-Wang Reed. AARGH I HATE THAT MAN. Maybe next time I'm hungry, instead of running down an elk and eating it raw, I'll eat him raw. And yes, I know he's fictional. And I don't actually run down elks.
._________________________________.
Me and Petronella have created someone named Richard Ursius Neal(Oh my god, that NAME!)who may be WORSE THAN FAI OR THE DOCTOR OR EVEN YUKO. Horrors! He's hilarious and he says things like this:
RANDOMO: What's your greatest fear?
R.U.N: That man-woman-adult-child, Justine Behbehr!
.__________________________________.
My new favorite goodbye phrase is 'Go forth, and spread beauty and light!' So go and do that, or whatever you kids do these days.

Corpses Are Fun!

BEST. SPAM. EVER.

Hi there sweet...

Would you mind to finding a young and nice girl of 25?

My name's Julya. I am from Ukraine.
Have you ever heard that the loveliest girls in the world live in my country? Don't even doubt!

I long for finding a special person for serious relations or even family life.
Aren't you the one I am searching for?(actually copied and pasted from spam)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA*breathes deeply*. Why does every spammer think I'm a lesbian?  I deleted the ad for the dating organization.

I had a dream last night about taking a pack of M&M's into bed with me, and then the yellow M&M was the only color in the world. I woke up, and looked for the pack. It was 2:53 AM.

The last two lines could be from a smokers' memoir.

TRUE STORY
In science class, we were making models of the solar system. I had chosen Saturn(oh how I love Hotaru-chan) and Neptune to make models of. Then, a kid noticed that there was I problem- Saturn was shown as larger than Jupiter. 
So I went to redraw Saturn, the planet of ruin. Then, it still seemed a little large. So, with the knowledge that I was right from looking at the measurements, which only I had copied down at my table, I checked. The other guy was wrong! When I informed him of this fact, he made me draw Jupiter, the planet of thunder, over for him, with the explanation that he'd just get it wrong again.
Now, this might just seem like I'm being drafted as the intellectual mule or pack horse of my group. BUT IT GETS WORSE.
I drew Jupiter, and colored it in with great precision, including the Great Red Spot, which the other guy* had neglected to draw. But it may not have been his fault, for lo and behold, a boy who I shall call Iago, in recognition of his semi-Shakespearean sounding name and bastardness, said I was using too many colors. 
"I'm using enough." I said.
"No, you're using too many. Let me color it in for  you."
Me: "NO."
So, I finished coloring, and I gave it to him to cut out, for that was his part of the project- the cutting out and taping of the planets to the poster-, with strict instructions to LEAVE THE COLORS ALONE. 
He promptly colored the whole thing in the most hideous shade of orange I've ever seen**.
I wait in hope that someday Hay Lin will suffocate him with her wind powers.
*Who actually isn't so bad for a SLACKER.
**Later, I discovered he'd colored in Saturn a hideous uniform orange, though a different shade than Jupiter. I colored that one in worse than Jupiter or Neptune, planet of oceans, but hey, I was rushed. Neptune was unharmed, which is OK.

It Is Always Easy To Go Wrong With A Stopwatch

Hi! I'm now viewed as schizophrenic by everyone  who was at Barnes and Nobles yesterday!
Really.
I know you want to know more, so! I will explain.
As everybody who reads this blog and has for a while knows, I am a fanatic CLAMP reader. I am particularly fond of Cardcaptor Sakura, and read it through omnibi. I saw the fourth omnibus at the store, and began to read.
Well.
I saw Sakura-chan crying. Now, I will not repeat the entire rant here, but I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU TAKING YOUR LIFE FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON ANY VERSION OF SAKURA-CHAN AGEHA OHKAWA. I wandered throughout the store, ranting and raving, and clutching a Magical Girl omnibus. At one point I pointed at a Warriors book and yelled "Shut the hell up!" There was a girl nearby, and I embarrassedly said "Sorry. Not you, ma'am." I finally decided on two Sakura-chan free books. I'm sorry, Sakura!

Cross-Dressing Macbeth

A note to two schools:
1. My middle school: FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS EVIL AND UNHOLY PUT SOME OF THOSE PAD/ TAMPON BOXES IN. For both the sake of those students on their periods and those not, as it is a little sad to see someone clutching a 'wad of toilet paper' to the trash can in semi-view of the hall and full view of everyone else in the bathroom.
2. The Lab School For Collaborative Studies: Get a better principal. Your current one reminds me of Sarah Palin.

IN HALLOWEEN NEWS:
I am torn between going as the space-time witch and going as Lady Macbeth. Melody is going as a Weeping Angel(not the uber-scary Stature of Liberty one in The Angels Take Manhattan, which we saw together on the tour), Momomouse is going as Hello Kitty, and Petronella is going as a zombie, just like every year.  However, I went to the costume store and was filled with rage at how many sexy costumes there were. I was resigned at sexy stewardess, a bit confused at sexy firefighter, confused at sexy caveman, and flabbergasted at(I kid you not)sexy Tin Man. No lie.
Though hanging out with Melody was one of the only good things about the Lab School tour, I also saw this ad:

  

OH. MY. GOD. Is it or is it not the greatest pawn shop ad you have ever seen? You may not be able to see this, but the chameleon's briefcase says 'Mr. Bling.' And he is wearing a tie! Notice that the chameleon's money is chameleon-size, but not the giant ring. And why is he a chameleon? And the caption above says 'Get more Cha-Ching for your Bling Bling'. It is just so surreal(Sorry about the weird formatting.)

Help! Chipmunk!

I am feeling rather rageful. I read the interview with the governor of Arizona in the New York Times Magazine, and here are my reactions.
Question 1:Obama...is thin-skinned...Right. So possible for a president! Because they are critiqued 1000 times a day!
Question 2: Way to avoid answering the question, Ms. Brewer!
Question 3: Yes! Statistics are all lies! Because the truth is a lie! A place an hours drive at a mile a minute from the border of your state is part of your state! SOOOOOOO TRUE!
Question 4: How is this answer relevant? At all?
Question 5: In my search for the interview, I heard that this man said being compared to the Ku Klux Klan was a honor. AND THIS WOMAN SUPPORTS HIM!
Question 6: Yes, laws aren't the governor's responsibility. Way to shift the blame.
Question 7: Because God knows that it's a great idea to give everyone guns and not rescind the privilege when they start shooting people.
Question 8: Right! Drunk people+guns=everybody's safe!
Question 9: No matter how small the percentage is, drunks with concealed weapons are dangerous. That's all there is to say.
Questions 10 and 11: No comment.
Question 12: HOLY SHIT. So, you are going to change a law so your OWN @$%@ING SON GOES TO @$*%^@@%&%ING  JAIL?
Questions 13 and 14: I have officially lost all faith in the human race.

I'm Bored, So I'll Yell At Life

Okay, I won't really yell at life, but I will yell at Glee. Yes, I watch Glee! And Downton Abbey! And wear other colors than black(occasionally)! And read W.I.T.C.H.! Who is this woman, you ask? Well,actually the W.I.T.C.H. isn't out of character for me, but...WHY WILL EVERYONE ALWAYS HATE ON MY FAVORITE CHARACTER? By 'hate on', I mean ignore. My favorite is(surprise,surprise) Tina. I like Quinn too, though. I am also angry at Downton Abbey for getting rid of one of my favorite characters.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH I just spent a post talking about TV. Yech. In other news, three of my idiotic peers were jumping rope, and they were all great.  But, before anyone would start jumping, they said "How many boyfriends do you have?", and the answer was how many jumps they made. One jumped 24 times, and I ended up secretly deciding to make the question 'How many people have you killed?'. As I went inside, I told one of them 'Mass murderer!

A Hate Letter To Ichigo Momomiya

&*@# you. Why on earth do you think you can refer to yourself as 'oh-so-powerful'? You aren't just breaking the Magical Girl Code Of Conduct, you're being a jerk, and guess what? NONE OF YOUR WAY AWESOMER FRIENDS REFERRED TO THEMSELVES AS POWERFUL. NONE. Now what does this mean? That your friends don't feel the need to prop themselves up on ego? That you compulsively one-ups all of your so-called 'friends'? That you have a sense of girliness that makes you use hideous phrasing?
I will not even begin on the fact that you have no obstacles between you and the three hot guys falling at your feet, while the immeasurably cooler Evangeline had her true love disappear for 12 years and when she saw him again, he was only a hologram. The far cooler Syaoran had the girl he loved's memories of him erased. The incredibly cooler Arisa Uotani- All right, I'll stop. Hey. Speaking of magical girls. YOU AREN'T EVEN #$@^%%ING CLOSE TO THE POWER OF *&@@$ING SAILOR #@@$ING MERCURY, AND SHE'S THE @$@$ING WEAKEST SAILOR GUARDIAN. YOU SHOULD JUST CRAWL INTO A HOLE AND #$#@ING DIE.
Thank you very much.
 UPDATE: Actually Pudding referred to herself as powerful, but it would be dumb to not think she would. She's Pudding.

In Memoriam

WARNING:THIS HAZ SPOILERZ ABOUT WARRIORS!
Hollyleaf shouldn't have died.
I read The Last Hope, and now I am angry.
For non-Warriors geeks, here's a brief Hollyleaf synopsis.
She was made to believe that she had powers, even though she didn't.
She discovered that her existence was against everything she believed in.
She had everything she loved taken away from her.
Then, she died.
She was ridiculously awesome, also.
HELLO?! AM I THE ONLY ONE ANGRY ABOUT THIS? THIS JUST ISN'T RIGHT! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO JOB, ONLY HE WASN'T AWESOME! AND SHE WAS A GOOD PERSON, TOO! SHE GAVE HER LIFE FOR THE VERY PEOPLE WHO HAD REJECTED HER!
Any comments that are funeral speeches will be appreciated.