He Needs To Be More Droll

SOME THINGS I MUTTERED TO MYSELF.
Great. Injured cranky vampires.
Of course I haven't twisted anyone's head off!
A very nice girl who happens to be a harbringer of the apocalypse.
The Doctor's married!?!?
There was a guy with long hair and he started being a jerk, so I beat him up.
EXPLANATIONS
1. Well, at this point in the story I was making up in  my head, there was one.
2. A defensive exclamation.
3. Describing Hotaru-chan.
4. Well, he is.
5. The character speaking was referring to King Ashura. I just did this to vindicate myself on some of the recent events in Tsubasa because HE PISSED ME OFF. But he has nothing on Fei-Wang Reed. AARGH I HATE THAT MAN. Maybe next time I'm hungry, instead of running down an elk and eating it raw, I'll eat him raw. And yes, I know he's fictional. And I don't actually run down elks.
._________________________________.
Me and Petronella have created someone named Richard Ursius Neal(Oh my god, that NAME!)who may be WORSE THAN FAI OR THE DOCTOR OR EVEN YUKO. Horrors! He's hilarious and he says things like this:
RANDOMO: What's your greatest fear?
R.U.N: That man-woman-adult-child, Justine Behbehr!
.__________________________________.
My new favorite goodbye phrase is 'Go forth, and spread beauty and light!' So go and do that, or whatever you kids do these days.

No,There's A Large Rock*

From the letters to fill out in Word's letter templates:

Replace this text with the contents of your letter. Contents here, lorem et tu brute. Ipsum dorem with lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes. Please leave out the mustard when preparing the repast. Contents may shift during packaging, return to sender if completely empty. Thank you, that is all. Replace this text with the contents of your letter.

Dear Recipient Name:

Replace this text with the contents of your letter.  A letter of simplicity for the intended one to read. To gaze upon, to cast an eye, to thoroughly decipher as one would a morning newspaper with the hot beverage of choice. Filler copy here.

I will be in touch and look forward to our conversation with much glee. Please be sure to call with questions.

Have you ever noticed characters who are other versions of another character? For example, Minako from Sailor Moon and Kara from Avalon:Web of Magic. Not to mention Tomoyo** and Hana-chan from Fruits Basket. Ooh, and Hollyleaf and Kasha. I should stop now before I go on forever, but...
CHANGES SUBJECT ABRUPTLY
AWESOMEST LINE IN TSUBASA VOLUME 20
That's what I punch people for!
Okay, maybe that particular awesomeness was awesome in context alone.
But it was awesome.     

*Punchline to a really tasteless joke about Tsubasa.
**As I mention her a lot, go back and read my archives.

How Many Corpses Do We Need? A WHOLE LOT.

Necrogirl go BOOM!

No, I didn't go crazy, I just started reading Angelic Layer and OH MY FROG IT IS SO AWESOME! I have decided to begin all conversations with 'Icchan go BOOM!', or, in my own words, Necrogirl go BOOM! The kung fu girl is really just a repeat of THE DEMON WOMAN. You know, HER. THAT WOMAN. The lady who looks like an evil Yuko-san. HER.
I really dislike that woman.
However, the kung fu girl is nice and has not drank anyone's blood(well, that's what it LOOKED LIKE) or tried to kill anyone. So far. And the five-year old is SOOOOO CUUUUTE even though she is a prequel to Princess Tomoyo. And I get to see the bit-part crossovers(Automata, City Hall girl, librarian AKA Hikaru, Blanche, and Blanche's Deus respectively).
Okay, that was way too many words about Angelic Layer.
But there are evil clowns in Sailor Moon! I LOOOVE the Dream storyline! Clowns! Magic unicorns! Tigers! Evil fish! Usagi's a little kid! Mamo-chan got his ass kicked!
Wait, guess what? Do you want to know how many SAT words can be put in a sentence in a Dungeons and Dragons adventure? You need wonder no more. From Keep On The Shadowfell:
The dank water suddenly disgorges a blob of blue slime. The
amorphous mass pours forward, extruding long pseudopods that
end in appendages of dripping goo. 
 Seriously, that was AN ACTUAL SENTENCE from the adventure. Pseudopods! Appendages! Were those words just put there to make me happy? If so, good job Dungeons and Dragons writers. You made my day.

Necrogirl go BOOM!

Planet Of Ruin(Kyaaaa!)

I just remembered this:
Once, me and Petronella were really into the show iCarly. We loooooooved it. Then, we decided to make our own webshow. It was called Billy-Bert(not it's real name). We played Billy-Bert and Chibiusa(again, psuedonyms for the psuedonyms). The thing is, it's on YouTube still. It was so dumb. We shoved everything into a pot and cooked once. I played the straight man, and she the funny man.
WEIRD THING 1
Petronella looked like a guy! I mean, now she has long hair and is rather...endowed in certain areas, bu then she looked very male. Androgynous. Like Haruka Ten'o! Only she doesn't have the mystical ability to turn into a man.
WEIRD THING 2
No one ever watched it...I feel so sad.

Too Many Grapes

 Awesome lines of dialogue and spell names in manga
La lac lic lac lilac!
Tuxedo la smoking bomber! ( I KNOW)
Rock-Buster The Conqueror!
NOW LET'S SEE THAT AGAIN
 Tuxedo la smoking bomber!
I buried a crystal in my body and now I can slay dragons!
MY EAAAAAAAAARSSS!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!(I'm pretty sure this was the correct punctuation)
Stop saying creepy things! You're going to give me nightmares!
PUNCH!
Angel's dead too? Angel: I'm not dead
I WILL KILL YOU ALL! Other Guy: She's been like this for a while.
Don't go killing me without asking!
Tuxedo la smoking bomber!(sorry)
I have to dig the crystal out of his body!
MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! MOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE

EEYYYYYYYY! I mean, who really needs it?
This doesn't look like a vampires room at all!
Tuxedo la smoking bomber!
DR. WHO LINES THAT ARE ALSO AWESOME
This is not going to be high on dignity!
You just saved the world from aliens. Deathy aliens. Aliens of death. And now you want to bring them back?
We should be safe. Rory hasn't died yet.
Am I the only one wondering where she got the milk?

Snipers and Snakes

Belated...
MY OPINION OF THE SAILOR GUARDIANS
1. Usagi Tsukino, Sailor Moon: Yech. Cute, but I have an aversion to Magical Girl main characters. Plus, she is  a wimp.
2. Ami Mizuno, Sailor Mercury: SOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUTE! She is so dorky in such a cuuuuute way. I have the urge to hug her and say 'It's okay for you to be so nerdy...you're awesome and cute, and being a nerd is cool anyway.'
3. Rei Hino, Sailor Mars: So damn gorgeous. She is ridiculously pretty, not to mention awesome.
4. Makoto Kino, Sailor Jupiter: Yech. I just dislike her.
5. Minako Aino, Sailor Venus: Pretty and funny. She's okay.
6. Chibiusa Tsukino, Sailor Chibi Moon:Eh.
7. Haruka Ten'o, Sailor Uranus: Aside from the apostrophe in her name, s/he is just odd.
8. Michiru Kaio, Sailor Neptune: AWESOME! Pretty, twisted, and a violinist? Yaaaaaay!
9. Setsuna Meio, Sailor Pluto: Pretty cool, plus she looks like Mana Tatsumiya.
10. Hotaru Tomoe, Sailor Saturn: SO DAMN AWESOME. She can wear cool lace-up goth-ish boots with her magical girl uniform, and not just look okay, but look awesome. My favorite.
However, Haruka has the coolest name. TEN'O! SHE HAS AN APOSTROPHE!
Oh, wait: 11. Sailor Chibichibi: I haven't seen her in action, but she is freakishly deformed.

He Regularly Delivers Fisticuffs

WOOHOO! My sister and mother have gone off, so me and my father are staying at home. As we are very similar, we will probably not get much done. Meanwhile, I am proud to deliver you... the Necrogirl Scale Of Battle Strength.
Could Win Against Kuro-ron:
Could Win Against Sakura Kinomoto:
Could Win Against Sailor Moon:
Could Win Against Lana from Gone:
Could Win Against Emily Strange:
Not many make it to the top. Where do YOUR  favorite literary characters rate?
TGIF13(Thank God It's Friday The 13th)

A Hate Letter To Ichigo Momomiya

&*@# you. Why on earth do you think you can refer to yourself as 'oh-so-powerful'? You aren't just breaking the Magical Girl Code Of Conduct, you're being a jerk, and guess what? NONE OF YOUR WAY AWESOMER FRIENDS REFERRED TO THEMSELVES AS POWERFUL. NONE. Now what does this mean? That your friends don't feel the need to prop themselves up on ego? That you compulsively one-ups all of your so-called 'friends'? That you have a sense of girliness that makes you use hideous phrasing?
I will not even begin on the fact that you have no obstacles between you and the three hot guys falling at your feet, while the immeasurably cooler Evangeline had her true love disappear for 12 years and when she saw him again, he was only a hologram. The far cooler Syaoran had the girl he loved's memories of him erased. The incredibly cooler Arisa Uotani- All right, I'll stop. Hey. Speaking of magical girls. YOU AREN'T EVEN #$@^%%ING CLOSE TO THE POWER OF *&@@$ING SAILOR #@@$ING MERCURY, AND SHE'S THE @$@$ING WEAKEST SAILOR GUARDIAN. YOU SHOULD JUST CRAWL INTO A HOLE AND #$#@ING DIE.
Thank you very much.
 UPDATE: Actually Pudding referred to herself as powerful, but it would be dumb to not think she would. She's Pudding.