In The Mere Shallow Concave Hollow Of Despair

A NOTE TO ALL STUDENTS AND TEACHERS AT MY MIDDLE SCHOOL
I am she who responded to the Do Not Reply email with 'Ok. I won't reply.' It was calling me, okay? I had to do it.
.___________________________.
HOW TO GET TO SLEEP WITHOUT LOSING YOUR SOUL.
I am a chronic insomniac. Not an 'oh, it's 10:35, I went to bed at 10:00' way, I mean an 'I went to bed at 10:00 and it is now 1:00, and I am too restless and fidgety to think, so all I can do is play with my lamp(ooh that sounds dirty) or meditate on the numeral display of my clock radio.' So, I have devised these:
Ways to get to sleep during that Long Dark Teatime of the Soul!
1. Stare at ceiling.
2. Curl up in fetal position under covers and pretend you are gravely injured.
3. Hold a mock battle of the bands, where you sing and jump around, without getting out of bed.
4. Rehash every comic moment from Tsubasa. Out loud.
5. Monologue about what is going on in books you are reading.
6. Write mental top-13 lists.
7. Think up elaborate fan-fic scenarios in which everybody dies.
8. Sing every Slings and Arrows theme song there was.
9. Write mental fan-fic that doesn't end in everybody dying.
10. Perform fan-fic. Out loud. Without getting out of bed.
11. Dream up ideas for what you are writing.
12. Rant about What Is Wrong With The World.
13. Pick up your flash drive. Note its pleasing color, shape, and texture. Meditate on it.
.________________________________.
Awesome copy on back of a library book- 'This well-written, high-action fantasy GRABS READERS AND NEVER LETS GO.'
Nice random capitalization there, friend.
 ._____________________________________.
That's all for tonight, folks!

Autistic Blueberry

So. Thanksgiving.  Let's all give thanks for the good things, like Kristin Cashore, cats, Mokona, and snowmen. My Thanksgiving was mainly reading the New Yorker while trying not to kill my cousins. Let's give thanks for fratricide! And Hamlet!
SPEAKING OF THE NEW YORKER
I have an obsession with reading their reviews of both TV shows and of Wagnerian opera. I have never watched most of the shows, nor seen Wagner performed, but I love reading their reviews.
.____________________________________.
Why? Why do I keep having weird dreams about Kuro-pippi? This time, there was Po from Graceling(god I love that series), who looked inexplicably like Masayoshi from Tsubasa in that dream. Then, there was Fai, and a river, and more about Po. That is all I can remember, except that there was a barbarian-type guy in black leather who had long hair beating his chest and howling at the sky. Maybe I should stop reading before bed...but then I wouldn't have my weird dreams about colorful demon babies and Sakura-chan dressed like a cowgirl, which would be sad.

He Needs To Be More Droll

SOME THINGS I MUTTERED TO MYSELF.
Great. Injured cranky vampires.
Of course I haven't twisted anyone's head off!
A very nice girl who happens to be a harbringer of the apocalypse.
The Doctor's married!?!?
There was a guy with long hair and he started being a jerk, so I beat him up.
EXPLANATIONS
1. Well, at this point in the story I was making up in  my head, there was one.
2. A defensive exclamation.
3. Describing Hotaru-chan.
4. Well, he is.
5. The character speaking was referring to King Ashura. I just did this to vindicate myself on some of the recent events in Tsubasa because HE PISSED ME OFF. But he has nothing on Fei-Wang Reed. AARGH I HATE THAT MAN. Maybe next time I'm hungry, instead of running down an elk and eating it raw, I'll eat him raw. And yes, I know he's fictional. And I don't actually run down elks.
._________________________________.
Me and Petronella have created someone named Richard Ursius Neal(Oh my god, that NAME!)who may be WORSE THAN FAI OR THE DOCTOR OR EVEN YUKO. Horrors! He's hilarious and he says things like this:
RANDOMO: What's your greatest fear?
R.U.N: That man-woman-adult-child, Justine Behbehr!
.__________________________________.
My new favorite goodbye phrase is 'Go forth, and spread beauty and light!' So go and do that, or whatever you kids do these days.

Even So Small A Child

SOMETHING I WROTE WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG

One day Lilia, the cute guinea pig, was walking with Curial Flue Lozano III(CFL3),the duck, when Lilia turned giant. CFL3 ran away, but Lilia stepped on Moo, the weird elf. Than Fatso*, the fisherman guy, poured syrup and hot fudge and whipped cream on Moo. Lilia thought Moo was a pancake and tried to eat him, but luckily,  a girl named Tris came along  and saved Moo. She had magic powers, so she brought Lilia back to normal size. Curial hated her, but she was still Moo and Lilia’s friend.

 No, I don't know either.
 ._____________________________________________.

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 I think I'm doing it wrong.

I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General

An actual text exchange between me and Melody:
Melody: Well, I'm tired. *yawn*Night!
Me: SLEEP NO MORE! GLAMIS HATH MURDERED SLEEP AND THEREFORE CAWDOR SHALL SLEEP NO MORE. MACBETH SHALL SLEEP NO MORE. Night.
.__________________________________.
IT'S A WHALE!

Greatest hits of the racist boys in my math class:
French is boring. It's all about croissants.
Guy #1: You are the smartest black person ever!
Guy #2: I don't know if that's racist or a compliment.
.___________________________________.
ANOTHER WHALE!

WHY ONE SHOULD NOT READ TSUBASA AND ANIMAL FARM AT THE SAME TIME (Spoiler alert for both!)
I have meme-ish things going through my head, and the latest one was that picture from Volume 20 of Tsubasa where Fai and Yui are like six or four, and standing in the black panel with fancy outfits and solemn faces.
Then I had the meme 'Four legs good, two legs better!' going through my head.
Then I got them mixed up.
Imagine the cute solemn identical twins in their fancy outfits (Oops, major spoiler there) suddenly creepily smiling and saying in this little-kid voice, as one "Four legs good, two legs be-e-e-eter!"
I'm still trying to get over it.

No,There's A Large Rock*

From the letters to fill out in Word's letter templates:

Replace this text with the contents of your letter. Contents here, lorem et tu brute. Ipsum dorem with lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes. Please leave out the mustard when preparing the repast. Contents may shift during packaging, return to sender if completely empty. Thank you, that is all. Replace this text with the contents of your letter.

Dear Recipient Name:

Replace this text with the contents of your letter.  A letter of simplicity for the intended one to read. To gaze upon, to cast an eye, to thoroughly decipher as one would a morning newspaper with the hot beverage of choice. Filler copy here.

I will be in touch and look forward to our conversation with much glee. Please be sure to call with questions.

Have you ever noticed characters who are other versions of another character? For example, Minako from Sailor Moon and Kara from Avalon:Web of Magic. Not to mention Tomoyo** and Hana-chan from Fruits Basket. Ooh, and Hollyleaf and Kasha. I should stop now before I go on forever, but...
CHANGES SUBJECT ABRUPTLY
AWESOMEST LINE IN TSUBASA VOLUME 20
That's what I punch people for!
Okay, maybe that particular awesomeness was awesome in context alone.
But it was awesome.     

*Punchline to a really tasteless joke about Tsubasa.
**As I mention her a lot, go back and read my archives.

Corpses Are Fun!

BEST. SPAM. EVER.

Hi there sweet...

Would you mind to finding a young and nice girl of 25?

My name's Julya. I am from Ukraine.
Have you ever heard that the loveliest girls in the world live in my country? Don't even doubt!

I long for finding a special person for serious relations or even family life.
Aren't you the one I am searching for?(actually copied and pasted from spam)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA*breathes deeply*. Why does every spammer think I'm a lesbian?  I deleted the ad for the dating organization.

I had a dream last night about taking a pack of M&M's into bed with me, and then the yellow M&M was the only color in the world. I woke up, and looked for the pack. It was 2:53 AM.

The last two lines could be from a smokers' memoir.

TRUE STORY
In science class, we were making models of the solar system. I had chosen Saturn(oh how I love Hotaru-chan) and Neptune to make models of. Then, a kid noticed that there was I problem- Saturn was shown as larger than Jupiter. 
So I went to redraw Saturn, the planet of ruin. Then, it still seemed a little large. So, with the knowledge that I was right from looking at the measurements, which only I had copied down at my table, I checked. The other guy was wrong! When I informed him of this fact, he made me draw Jupiter, the planet of thunder, over for him, with the explanation that he'd just get it wrong again.
Now, this might just seem like I'm being drafted as the intellectual mule or pack horse of my group. BUT IT GETS WORSE.
I drew Jupiter, and colored it in with great precision, including the Great Red Spot, which the other guy* had neglected to draw. But it may not have been his fault, for lo and behold, a boy who I shall call Iago, in recognition of his semi-Shakespearean sounding name and bastardness, said I was using too many colors. 
"I'm using enough." I said.
"No, you're using too many. Let me color it in for  you."
Me: "NO."
So, I finished coloring, and I gave it to him to cut out, for that was his part of the project- the cutting out and taping of the planets to the poster-, with strict instructions to LEAVE THE COLORS ALONE. 
He promptly colored the whole thing in the most hideous shade of orange I've ever seen**.
I wait in hope that someday Hay Lin will suffocate him with her wind powers.
*Who actually isn't so bad for a SLACKER.
**Later, I discovered he'd colored in Saturn a hideous uniform orange, though a different shade than Jupiter. I colored that one in worse than Jupiter or Neptune, planet of oceans, but hey, I was rushed. Neptune was unharmed, which is OK.

How Many Corpses Do We Need? A WHOLE LOT.

Necrogirl go BOOM!

No, I didn't go crazy, I just started reading Angelic Layer and OH MY FROG IT IS SO AWESOME! I have decided to begin all conversations with 'Icchan go BOOM!', or, in my own words, Necrogirl go BOOM! The kung fu girl is really just a repeat of THE DEMON WOMAN. You know, HER. THAT WOMAN. The lady who looks like an evil Yuko-san. HER.
I really dislike that woman.
However, the kung fu girl is nice and has not drank anyone's blood(well, that's what it LOOKED LIKE) or tried to kill anyone. So far. And the five-year old is SOOOOO CUUUUTE even though she is a prequel to Princess Tomoyo. And I get to see the bit-part crossovers(Automata, City Hall girl, librarian AKA Hikaru, Blanche, and Blanche's Deus respectively).
Okay, that was way too many words about Angelic Layer.
But there are evil clowns in Sailor Moon! I LOOOVE the Dream storyline! Clowns! Magic unicorns! Tigers! Evil fish! Usagi's a little kid! Mamo-chan got his ass kicked!
Wait, guess what? Do you want to know how many SAT words can be put in a sentence in a Dungeons and Dragons adventure? You need wonder no more. From Keep On The Shadowfell:
The dank water suddenly disgorges a blob of blue slime. The
amorphous mass pours forward, extruding long pseudopods that
end in appendages of dripping goo. 
 Seriously, that was AN ACTUAL SENTENCE from the adventure. Pseudopods! Appendages! Were those words just put there to make me happy? If so, good job Dungeons and Dragons writers. You made my day.

Necrogirl go BOOM!

Stabuloso!

 I got this excellent spam in my email-
Dear member of our Dating site!
You have 12 unread messages from ladies.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
To explain-
Ladies? I may be unclear about my sexuality(people, I'm only 13!)but to get only ladies? Is this a gay* dating site?
Also, may I point out that I'm not a member?
And...Ladies?
* Heard in Theater class
Girl: Oooh, I want a gay best friend! Named Joey!